Who dares

Who dares to challenge the
community’s ruling spirit?
The part of you that mystifies isn’t
as strong as your skeptical side
When Matt had a hundred bucks
in his pocket, he felt safe

An anarchic, structural difference

The politically connected get
the pardons, the vaccines, the
rare expensive antibodies to
defeat the virus as it foully
invades their bodies, the plague
that would kill their dreams

His mom didn’t deserve such sorrow

Manners matter—
We didn’t make love though
perhaps we should have
It could have been fun for us—
those pockets of conflict and lust,
so much to yearn for

His life, short as it was, was complete

Those great 18th century philosophers,
mystics all, alchemists all—
We don’t remember them for that
Their systematic doubt is so much more
powerful for us than their mystical,
mercurial visions were to them

That party’s over, their hunger’s gone

Capitalism descended into fascism
with no semblance of justice
“It’s their right to reject me and
my right to hate them for it”
I mourn for the future when
all I care about is the past

They die and can’t see our faces

Before time stopped for him
he was quiet, contemplative,
an intellectual—The stand-up, the
funny, the acting—that was his work
His death had no subjective time—
No one experiences death

“The thing about getting old is that”

I stewed over the mistakes I made,
the strategies that didn’t pan out
He dreams about whatever’s pleasant
for him to dream about—Never
lonely in a world together with her—
Never alone in this world

“you’re always the same inside”

-January 9, 2021-