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Intentions don’t

Intentions don’t make her beautiful
She throws too much away—
as if rebelliousness and revelation,
are the treasures I couldn’t tolerate
As the universe brings her to me
everywhere I look life teems, competes,
in an alchemy of subdued rage and fire,

in a competition for status, survival,
solace, escape and shelter, in a subtle
repressed animus of ordinary trifles
The silence that burns between us
is like the color of birds that only
the birds can see, the piping of a song
that only the birds can hear

Warriors and predators turn into
prey because we’re all players
in a lightly elucidated cryptic game—
from achievement to apprehension,
from ego to prestige like a liar
who pretends to love someone
for treasure, like a whore

“Her eyes are the window of her
soul” so she kept her eyes closed
“On my feet outside all day in the
heat for little pay and then it
rained on me wet and cold”
Our president’s a nasty fop,
like the rot that bred him

In college I had long hair down
my back that froze in the cold as
I walked to class,
smoked unfiltered cigarettes
from France and took as my
gym class “independent walking”
I still like walking

Everything she said or did
said to me you’re an interloper,
a poser, out of your league
a temporary thing for me
The vile trickster’s best trick
is not the first trick, false and mean,
it’s the way you’re tricked again

“What’s done is done, now make
the most of it, move on”
And then you’re set up
again because “The past can’t be
undone” and there’s always some
new chance to make up your losses
a bit and maybe this will fix it

Politicians pretend that human
treachery and unreliability
don’t exist in you or them,
that suspicious, vicious lies
have nothing to do with us
That’s the other guy, the guy
that nearly drowned

in the vast ocean swells that
cover us and all that we love
Style is a quality of vision
Our great great-grandparents thought
despair was a sin because if
God is good and right
how can we despair?

“The MRI showed the remaining kidney
is cancer free but there’s a spot on your
liver—probably nothing but your doctor
should prescribe another MRI in six months”
—as if to say “Look, I’m a kidney surgeon
and cured your kidney cancer; get other help
if your body wants to die of something else”

 

 

-July 14, 2018-