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Every Mistake

In this soft twilight place
   with its round white moon smile
   you may scar your heart forever
I pay and I pay
   for every mistake
papers, deft writings, so important
   even days ago
   like old train tickets
   distant schedules,
   past reservations
      honored in their time
      or disgraced
   so important, these papers, once
   like time’s orange streaking arrows
      brilliant, relentless
   like blistering darting thoughts
   or faded newsprint
   tales of old fights
   on fragile yellowed papers
      past explosions
like a love lost before it could begin
   or a damaged friend
I pay and I pay
   for every mistake
What was once important
   isn’t important now
what once excited
   has vanished
I pay and I pay
   for every mistake
I see various shades of orange in my head
   moving to the sounds of violins
Whenever I hear violins
   I see various shades of orange
Always have for some reason
Always have
Music always turns back on itself
It belongs, and does not belong,
   to one place

-September 25, 2007-