On the Steps of Eternity
The steps are white marble, marble plate There is graffiti washed and faded on the walls The building smells musty old soup and onions This is a neighborhood of poor people now There are glass and metal doors leading from the sidewalk through which you can see the marble steps and graffiti walls There are five steps and a plateau and five steps up to another plateau There is a black rubber rug and another set of glass and metal doors where the floor is dark brown and smells of polish To the right on the marble plated wall are black buttons and an intercom into which you may talk Here you push the button of her apartment A buzzer sounds, you are expected You pull the metal handle of a glass and metal door You enter I had never seen a shooting star before my father pointed one out to me The sky was black and clear over the beach the moon a large yellow circle the star a white dot flickering across the sky past the moon, its tail past the big dipper Now a father and his son, stand on the beach stare at the sky— “A shooting star” dad said, “that’s lucky”
These are the steps of eternity covered in false marble They were built in the early thirties and then were all the style The graffiti on the walls mocks the majestic gravity of her building -
With his back to the ancient
Chateau de Maintenon
He stares into the grayness of the day
past the sculptured gardens over the
pond with its brownish gray water over
green manicured lawns
past the initial of a queen
sculptured in green bushes
bright flowers
Grandma, the trees sway in the distance
the branches of the trees sway
their leaves tremble
In this fine mist
in this fine rain
Like her daughter
who also died of cancer
she died Thanksgiving weekend
I didn’t go, it wasn’t my turn
My two younger brothers, Matthew and Jonathan went
by bus from New York carrying with them delicacies
from Zabars because of the holiday and because there were
things she still liked to eat
When they arrived she did not respond to the intercom’s buzzer
Still, they got into the building
Generally cautious, this time her apartment door was open
They walked in, closed the door behind them and called her name
She was in the bathroom
After about a half hour of talking to her through the bathroom door
they overcame their reluctance and opened it
She was naked in the bathtub, the water having long since drained
unable to lift herself out while refusing to admit
that anything was wrong
“Boys, I’ll be out in a minute”
Nor did she understand why the ambulance came
to take her to the hospital
I explained this to Jonathan
“She does not understand why she is here
and she blames you two for all of the trouble”
-
It grows colder The trees have lost their leaves Winter is early this year Only the bushes show green
It was mid-August in a hot seedy neighborhood in which the police don’t give a damn that a building caught fire a block away from me Screaming and sirens, flames burst from windows firemen shout to each other on the rooftops Homes of the poor burnt homeless
I walk my way forward in the cold morning the white mist of my breath in front of my face In everyone of us is a sadness nothing can touch
-December 21, 2009-