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Always on

                1.

When I turned around to find mom,
she wasn’t there
I never saw her again or my little sisters

Dunces and frauds all dominate here
We want, we keen, we need
The unconscious in life never lies, it always digs beneath

Strain and strain again just to stay in place
In the camp we move listlessly, robotically, quietly obey
all just to live, we hope, for a few more days

 

                2.

If you get to do what some folks envy they may hate you
They may take your life back to that very
rough part of that rougher place

We thought we touched hard but we barely grazed
A misconception of perception across raw chasms
like luscious, cool rips in the air

Visions of heterosexual happiness dominate
like a victory that costs too much...
We run really hard, just to stay in place

 

                3.

Wouldn’t it be great to see Matt again, have a beer with him,
laugh and cry about everything that’s happened since he died,
all that was good, that was funny, that was sad

You go along, you walk along, you go
Layered levels of mystery, fidelity, addiction
shift into subtle, lively riffs

They cry and together try to get over it
They make these elaborate, happy plans—inside,
every camera’s always on, you know, every microphone is live

-October 14, 2012-