A relentless

A relentless year—

I’m the naïve sucker who bought
the fake Rolex on your street corner
The kind of person who always
has enough postage stamps—
An intruder, always meticulous

I’m not the man I set out to be

It’s the time when the job
of raising and protecting my
children is over—as if I were
asking those who can’t do it,
to give me what I need

It’s an important fiction

To have the trappings of a republic
outside of a plutocratic, fascist, imperialist
cult—They break the law and don’t even
bother to hide it—No one punishes
them, imprisons them, or busts them

The sexual imperatives of life

The brief term of this terrestrial
existence is for us the when that’s
always now—Its content through
compression is inexhaustible—It’s as
rare as a fighter, both great and good

He’s a solitary man

Sometimes when I spoke of dad
it was as though he was still alive
“What does your father do now?”
She’s right next to me and
here I am, still longing for her   

The excitement, the ecstasy

It feels like a gap—
If we can fill in the gap
then the problem’s solved
Always the same promise—
always broken

A mind that revels in its power

A government that requires
the inherent goodness of its people
fails when its people aren’t
inherently good—How do I yearn
for her when she’s so close to me?

Smug reprobate bosses steal from us

“Someone you expected to be there
won’t be there”— so said an adult
friend to me when I was thirteen—I’ve
since blocked out all the ruined holidays,
our bitterness and awkward humiliations  

We couldn’t get together and just celebrate

-October 3, 2020-